The Birth of Our Surprise Baby, Finley Janice

In February of 2017 our Family got a HUGE surprise. A little baby conceived with an IUD, weeks before a scheduled vasectomy, and days after a car accident. We called her our “wild card”, our lucky baby, our loved little life-curveball, our tenacious girl. It’s no surprise that her birth followed suit. She came fast and furious, in her own shocking Finley fashion, and left us all in awe of her persistent nature.

The last week of October, days prior to Finley’s birth I had a really intense massage/energy work with Mindy, one of the students at Mermaid Birth. During this session she suggested that Jeff and I take a moment to tell Finley she was welcome and wanted. She said she was sensing some fear and hesitation from Fin. This made sense since Jeff and I were admittedly a bit terrified of the transition to 3 children. The morning of her birthday we took a minute in the car, while we were waiting for Rayden to get out of school, telling Finley that even though she wasn’t planned we were SO for her to join our family and she is a loved part of our family.

Later that evening we went for a bike ride around the cemetery. Rayden had just learned to ride without training wheels and we needed a big safe space for him to ride. We stopped by my Grandma’s and Cousin’s grave and spent a moment sending love. After a few laps I was feeling too much pressure to continue (which was common for me in those last weeks so I wasn’t surprised). I was so worn from the walk we decided to for-go cooking dinner and just grab a pizza then head home. The entire car ride I was having what I thought was my nightly Braxton Hicks but a few were intense enough to breathe through.

The entire last week of my pregnancy had been full of insomnia and kidney pain so I hadn’t slept in days. I was looking forward to actually sleeping that night so I was hoping the BH would die down and I could have my 1 night of sleep before baby came (now I laugh because, knowing Fin, OF COURSE that’s when she came!). Once we got home (5:30) they were a bit more intense and I decided to pay attention the consistency. They were going from 7-15 mins apart and were not seeming to get remotely consistent so I figured it was another night of BH. I drank water, did a magnesium soak, and drank some cal-mag to try to calm them down enough to sleep… but by 7pm I was deep breathing through them as I put my babies to bed. If I would stand up, my contractions were mild-medium strength but the second I laid down they were the most intense I have ever experienced in all 4 of my births. Transition worthy contractions. However, the second I got up… they were mild. So unlike my others…

Jeff and I spent the next couple hours in our bed soaking each other in. Embracing what could be our last night alone in a long time. He gave me massages, cuddled me, kissed me, reassured me, told me how amazing/beautiful I was and just got that oxytocin flowing! I remember wishing I could pause and stay in that moment forever. I couldn’t believe that I was bringing another beautiful soul into the world with this man. That was the part of this birth I will remember most vividly forever.

By 9pm they were anywhere from 5mins to 15mins apart and SO not even close to consistent but so intense that I could no longer text our birth team. Once Jeff started to text them the updates, they knew it was time to come! That’s always to big birthworker sign to get on the road lol! Jeff set up the pool as our Midwives came to be with us!

I spent the next couple hours swaying, deep moaning, and breathing through each wave. I also did a few inversions to help baby move her fist out of a very uncomfortable spot in my back. Her hand continued to put pressure high up on my back (See, persistent!) so I decided to get into the water to soothe my back pain. Good thing I did because even though I felt like I wasn’t even close to transition (surges were still 10mins apart at times) I was actually very close. As always the water felt AMAZING!

Not too long after getting in I felt pressure and the urge to push. I reached down and didn’t feel her head even close but still the pressure continued. According to the “purple line” I was around 6cm but the urge to push was undeniable. That good ol’ fetus ejection reflex is not something you can fight against lol! So I listened and let my body gently push from then on. Shortly after, as I was pushing during a surge I felt a strong “pop!”
Amuri said “there goes her water!”

During the next contraction I reached down and felt the softest, fuzziest little head crowning. It was by far the most incredible feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life. It felt powerful. I felt in control. I felt a strong connection to my primal self and to all the birthing women who came before me. Still now when I feel that fuzzy head I instantly go back to that moment. I kept my hand on her precious head as I pushed through the next surge.

I felt her head move lower. Then I felt something different, it was like I was pushing into a wall. No matter how much I pushed she was no longer moving down. The next few minutes were a blur but I remember everyone’s tone changing. There was more urgency in everyone’s voices. One of the Midwives had me get into “runners position” while someone held my other leg. My face was pressed against Jeff’s chest and he calmly said “baby, you need to get her OUT. You can do this. You are doing great.”

It was quick, it was hectic, it was a blur. I had no idea who was positioned where or who said what but I do know it was HARD work. It was intense. Afterwards one of my Midwifes said it was one of the worst cases of shoulder dystocia she had ever seen. Not only did her shoulders get stuck but so did her torso.
But baby came. My body delivered. We did it.

Some births are text book “normal” and some are anything but. I have had both and everything in between. Each birth teaches me something different and this one taught me the beauty of the messy. The loveliness of the unplanned and unposed. It furthered my reverence for Midwives and their deep knowledge of techniques that are often underused in medicalized birth today.

My sweet Finley has proven to me that there is perfection in the unplanned.

Enjoy my birth video below from Chelsea Lee Photography!

https://chelsealeephotography.smugmug.com/Birth-Photography/Jessica-P/n-mRnGkn/i-Rmp52vK