On Tuesday the 29th i was 41 weeks pregnant and feeling uncomfortable but surprisingly patient for such an impatient person. I had a late night appointment with my wonderful Midwife, Danielle, that included a prenatal massage and foot zoning from her Student Midwife, Mylie. The previous week I had the same massage from her and it was so relaxing I had a few contractions afterwards, so I was feeling hopeful!
I was having some troubles from the baby’s positioning blocking output from my left kidney (hydronephrosis) causing me to not be able to drink very much without my kidney swelling a bit. So I was feeling ready to have her whenever she decided she was ready to join us on the outside.
My Midwife normally doesn’t perform cervical checks at appointments but I was very curious and asked her to check me. After checking, she happily informed me that I was a 5! Since I had been having prodromal labor all day we both REALLY felt that baby would come that night. I went home to get some sleep for the long night ahead.
My drive home from Honeyville was FULL of contractions that started to become uncomfortable. I called my SIL and my dad to warn them that tonight may be the night! As soon as I got home I got ready and went straight to bed before things got too intense.
That night I woke up every hour with a good strong contraction but by morning they were still only an hour apart. I told Jeffery that I desperately needed a distraction. I knew I was focusing on my labor progession too much so off to Brigham we went!
After playing with Rayden at my parents house in Brigham for a bit Jeffery and I decided to go walk around Walmart (since it was crazy cold) and try to get things moving. By then it was about 11:00 and contractions were about every 20-30 mins. We bought Ray a new bike (bribery to be happy through this crazy day, maybe? Lol) and we went home.
2pm
Once we arrived home I figured that I should clean and get dinner in the crockpot. Even though my contractions at that point were averaging 11mins apart (thank you, Fullterm App!) I was in SUCH denial that baby was coming anytime soon. I text my SIL and Midwife to say that they were 11 apart but I was NOT expecting baby anytime soon. My bet was late that night or early the next morning. Contractions were very intense.
Rayden and Jeff played outside with his new bike while I prepared a pot roast.
Chop a potato, stop, rock and sway my hips through a contraction, repeat.
By 4pm I found myself moaning quietly through each contraction and decided it was time for my mom to pick up Rayden. I felt VERY conflicted about her taking him. On one hand I really wanted him gone and settled by the time transition hit but on the other hand I was still in such denial that baby was even coming that night. This would be my first night away from my son. He was super stoked but I was a complete wreck. I bawled (almost hysterically) when my parents took him away. Good thing they took him when they did, though, because as they were heading out the door I was pretty much hanging to my door frame for dear life as I waved goodbye. Then of course I bawled… a lot. Looking back now, I was approaching transition then.
I swayed, hummed, leaned on the wall, hung from hubby and just labored.
Still in denial that baby was coming soon I text my birth team “contractions are 8 mins apart but please don’t rush. I think we still have a long ways to go until baby arrives.”
Then a follow up text about 15 mins later.
“5 minutes apart but still no rush. I don’t think it will be soon.”
Good thing they ignored me and decided to rush because by the time they arrived I was leaning on the wall, swaying my hips, and moaning like an animal lol!
Kelsie, my doula and SIL, arrived and I jumped in the tub. She sprayed my belly with water during each contraction and I must say… BETTER than an epidural!
Brittany, my birth photographer, arrived second. By this time my contractions were about 2 mins apart and I was approaching transition (however, I was still in denial that I was even in active labor). We went from position to position and NOTHING felt good. I wanted to be in water so badly.
In what seemed like minutes I went from laughing with Brittany and Kelsie to hanging onto Jeff shivering (from the rush of adrenaline that transition brings) and heading towards the birth pool.
Danielle and her two assistants, Amuri and Mylie, arrived and started rushing to set up and attend to me as I was getting in the pool. Since I had refused to believe that my labor could actually go quickly, we didn’t start filling the pool soon enough so the water was barely to the “minimum” line.
I shivered from the adrenaline, smelled Essential oils to calm me, and hummed/moaned through each surge. Getting in the pool was nice even though the water was barely high enough to reach my belly. The second I got in I was feeling pressure.
The surges were so intense that I was starting to lose focus. I looked to Danielle in desperation and she calmly said “focus on Sawyer. Connect with your girl. You two are a team and need to work together.” I reconnected with my baby and all was well again. I felt a connection to my baby that was unlike any other feeling I have ever experienced. I didn’t know who was around, what was said, or what was being done. It was just me and her working hard.
Next contraction I instinctually exhaled to breathe my baby down. I was pushing! My body knew what to do. Right then my self doubt crept in and I turned to Jeff and said “I can’t do this.” Then I heard Danielle say “you already are! You are doing this. Every contraction brings you closer to meeting Sawyer.” I grabbed Jeffs shoulders and hung on for dear life through every single contraction. Danielle placed a bottle of essential oil below my nose to inhale during surges and it was almost like a sedative! That smell was not only insanely calming but it forced me to breathe deeply. Every time I lost focus Danielle connected me with Sawyer. I responded with her words and focused on her voice. She kept reminding me that my baby was almost here. She told me to reach down and as I did I felt her head! We were a team, Sawyer and I. In that moment I felt connected to her in a way that I can’t even describe. This was OUR birth. Something her and I were doing together. We were a team and we were doing this!
On the outside I was loud. Moaning like a crazy animal through contractions. Apparently, vocalization is my birth coping mechanism lol! On the inside, however, I remained connected with my little Sawyer. Every time my doubt crept in my Midwife spoke softly and reconnected me with her and I was refocused. I pushed and felt her move down.
Sawyers head was born in caul and as her shoulders emerged the bag burst. SO COOL!
She was also born with a nuchal hand so Danielle needed to assist a bit.
Then, after 6 mins of pushing, Sawyer Ruby Poulsen was born. At 9:11pm weighing 6lbs 8oz and 21 inches long. The bond was insane. I got to experience the “birth high” that everyone talks about and the euphoria lasts weeks. I felt powerful, maternal, and like I could conquer the world. I am a new person after this birth. I feel that god creates each woman with this strength and birth is the passageway to discovering it. I am a much more confident mother and person after this experience.
Self confidence has a new meaning to me now. I can’t ask any more of my body, it has served me well. I am proud of it and what it is capable of. Each time I get anxious that my pants no longer fit the same or that I have that tired “mom look” all I have to do is think about the fact that my body has grown two beings, birthed them, and fully nourished them as long as they needed.
You can view my YouTube birth story slideshow below: