I’ve got a little secret to share with you & with the millions of other parents out there, moms & dads alike. This secret could be a total game-changing, mind blowing, stress reducing, eye opening, Huge.Sigh.Of.Sweet.Relief.
If you are currently struggling with your child’s sleeping habits, fed up with feeling like crap during pregnancy, or stressed to the max & feeling guilty for spending another day screaming at your kids. Or maybe feeling like you “don’t have the time or money”, struggling to breastfeed, feeling depressed, anxious, or suffering from a poor body image.
Are you fighting way too often with your spouse? Do you hate your job? Do you agree to hang out with someone whom you secretly wish would lose your number? Are you currently stuffing as much ice cream/snickers/ho ho’s (your drug of choice) into your mouth before your kids catch you, to satiate your underlying sadness?
Well, I have the solution to whatever one of those categories you fall under! Are you ready for it?!!
I won’t keep you waiting any longer…
T A K E. C A R E. O F. Y O U R S E L F. F I R S T!!!
You read that right, now say it out loud…. “I am worthy & capable of taking good mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical care of myself. I need to invest in myself and create the time and/or money, to make sure I fill up my cup. I can put myself first.”
There you have it!
Now I’m sure the onslaught of excuses are beginning to fly through your head about why you “can’t”.
- I don’t have the time!
- I don’t have the money.
- My kids need me.
- My spouse needs me.
- I don’t know if I will be able to find a better job.
- I’m just in a slump. Things will change.
- I don’t want to seem mean or selfish.
- It feels like a luxury.
- The world will fall apart without me
To me, those thoughts sound like: ‘I don’t deserve to feel good. I am unworthy of health, happiness, support, and abundance in all forms.’
Because that’s what it boils down to.
I know, I am making it way too simple, and like most females, we like to complicate the hell out of things. But it just doesn’t work that way folks!
Reframe those beliefs…
- I can dedicate 30 minutes out of my day to myself.
- I can & should find a way to create more money to invest in myself.
- Someone else should watch my children for a few hours. My spouse is capable of spending time with them while I’m gone for a while. When all else fails, screen time.
- My partner is a grown adult, they can & should respect that I need to care for myself.
- Everyone around me will benefit from me caring for myself.
- I won’t know until I try. If it challenges me, it will change me.
- I should treat myself the way I treat others (unless you’re a mean person, than you should reevaluate things all together)…
- This person brings nothing to the table and I feel terrible around them, it’s okay to cut people loose. Some people are only meant to make it through a chapter of my book, not to the end.
- Money comes and goes. If I want it bad enough, I will find a way to make it work.
Maybe this blog post seems a little odd for a website that is focused on birth & postpartum work, but please trust when I say; as a birth professional that also supports parents through all phases of parenting, the #1 issue that it ALL boils down to is this… Parents that need my sleep services, also need self-care desperately. Parents that are feeling overwhelmed/anxious/sick, in pregnancy, need more self-care & support. Parents that are struggling to breastfeed or conceive, need more self-care. You get the point.
When I first discovered this epiphany, I was a bit surprised. Then I started to see the staggering number of parents who are trying to burn the candles at both ends to keep up in the rat race & suddenly it just made my heart ache. Our sad excuse for maternity/paternity leave, our severe lack of prenatal education & postpartum support, all play a role in this epidemic, (Don’t get me started on this subject) so while we can continue to protest the injustices, we should also make the time to care for ourselves.
I know someone reading this is thinking ‘Well it can’t be the only secret or the “best advice”, otherwise she wouldn’t just be putting it out there in a blog & risk losing business.’ But I have no doubts, parents will still come to me sleep deprived and at their wit’s end, and I’ll still have to talk to them about the importance of self-care & support.
This parenting gig takes a village & there’s no shame in that. The underlying cause of your struggle to deal with a toddler tantrum, a baby that won’t sleep or your chaotic pregnancy, begins at the foundation of it all… You & your lack of self-care.
I write this from personal experience of burn out, from my business experience of working with other families, as a friend. As a woman who sees the detrimental effects of our inherited limited beliefs daily, I am watching the consequences of this “no time, no money, no support, undeserving” mentality, wreak havoc on society & the future generations! It doesn’t need to cost hundreds of dollars or a tropical vacation. You would be surprised what: exercise, a walk, yoga, meditation, sunshine, seeing a friend, a warm cup of tea, a good book, silence, a nap, a shower, pregnancy support, mentoring, coloring, or whatever makes you happy, can do for your soul.
Now, instead of saying: “I don’t have time.” Try saying: “It’s not a priority,” and see how that sits with you. Are you willing to stop making excuses and start making yourself #1 priority?
Tell us, what do YOU do for self-care? Do you support your partner in their self-care? Comment below!!